He’ll do it Again
Has God ever dealt with you by reminding you of things you said in the past?
Over 2 years ago I went through a season where God was showing me things were going to change and there was a new stirring in my heart. I wrote a little about it here and here
Out of that time, I decided (not right away because I fight things sometimes) to go back to school and get a Counseling degree. It’s been a lot of work, but I know it’s where God wants me. I’ve also delved into some uncomfortable areas. Some of them continue to punch me in the gut week after week and sometimes leave me hopeless about the evil in people and this world. But, if we don’t fight outside our comfortable areas, who’s going to help those who need it. Although there is nothing wrong with it, sometimes God wants more than money and prayer. Sometimes it takes stepping into the dark places that open our eyes and break our hearts.
I thought I was moving where God wanted me to go.
I knew there was going to be more. But, I thought I was walking into the places He wanted me to.
However, this past year I was tossed into a situation that I did not ask for. It was the culmination of years of battle with seemingly no victories. Two steps forward, five steps back. It was hard. It is hard.
I was bitter.
Why are people so selfish? Why can’t they pull it together? Why can’t they do the right thing? How can they do this when they know better? Don’t they see the utter devastation of so many lives laid out on the alter of their selfishness? Why won’t they take the help? We’ve given them everything and they’ve tossed it all away.
It took months of dealing with myself and God just to find even the smallest idea of forgiveness. It’s hard to forgive when the one whose done the wrong has never even bothered to ask for your forgiveness or repair what they’ve done.
But God was always there. God is always there. He’s still in the business of forgiving. He’s still in the business of redemption.
My mind and heart- always wrestling.
Internal turmoil.
But He says:
“I’ve moved mountains before. I will do it again.”
“I’ve never failed you.”
“I will take care of you.”
“There is no one outside of my reach.”
“There is no darkness too dark for me.”
“I AM”
Then, it happened.
There is a song called “Do it Again”. Ever since first hearing this song, God spoke to me a promise that He would come through in this situation. He would work a miracle- in His time. I’ve tried to cling to this, but it’s been hard to see how things will ever change. So much damage has been done.
I was in my car alone, yet again thinking about this mess of a situation and being a little angry and bitter over it. That same song came on the radio.
In that moment God said “Remember all that turmoil and things you wrote about a few years ago? It was for this. It was for him. I needed your heart to break. I needed you to see. I need you to see him now.”
Never had a considered that over two years ago God was going to send me through internal turmoil for something that was going to happen so far later. I couldn’t even remember everything I wrote. I had to go back and read it again and it laid me flat out. It broke me. In that moment God broke my heart into infinite little pieces. How can I see the hurting world out there and not see the hurt right in front of my face? Why am I willing to forgive and see past the infinite mistakes of strangers, but not someone next to me? How can I tell a perfect stranger that God loves them no matter what they’ve done, but yet put restrictions on God’s love for someone next to me? How can I so lovingly sit and listen to people talk about their mistakes and be so willing to help them yet have no mercy for the one next to me? Maybe because I was more concerned about what it was causing me. Maybe because I was angry about the pain it was causing those I love.
Maybe because it was all about me.
In that silent, holy, moment my eyes were opened.
I am no longer angry. If forgiveness is never asked, I have still forgiven.
I saw through the eyes of Jesus.
He was no longer a lost cause. He was no longer getting what he deserved.
In that moment, he became a precious child of God. He became a lost lamb that the shepherd will lovingly walk into the pits of hell for. He became the soul that Elohim, the God of strength and power, will take back from the darkness into the light. I saw the powerful testimony of the redemption of God. I saw the story God is writting. All the sins washed away. All of them taken away, washed without a trace. The precious flow of Jesus’ blood that make it all white as snow. All of it.
All of it. Gone.
I saw the promise God made me.
Is there someone that you need to see with new eyes? Is there someone you need to forgive? Can I just encourage you to ask for God to supernaturally come in and deal? It’s not an easy road. It does not change anything that has happened. But, there is freedom on the other side. When you release that person from your expectations and instead allow God to do His thing, you can be the witness to a miracle.
Why?
Because as the song “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury so beautifully says,
“Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so, so kind to me
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me
And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me”
Do you have someone your heart breaks for? Do you long to see the redemptive work of God? Do you sometimes want to give up? I know I have. My prayer is that God will continue to break our hearts. My prayer is that God will continue to burden us with those people. My prayer is that we are never too comfortable to forget the suffering of those who are away from God. My prayer is that God continues to give us a little glimpse into how His heart breaks for all His lost children. And, my prayer is that we also get just a little glimpse of the happiness He feels when one of His lost children finally comes home.
“May you always know
where the road home begins
and have the courage to walk the first mile.
May you never be too far from a lifeline
and never too far gone to dial.
May you know
that the God who pursues you
is a hunter whose bullets bleed mercy.
May artful accidents of grace
explode at every turn of your journey.
May you trip over truth
and fall headlong into hope.
May redemption rain down all around you.
May God’s glory catch you napping
and God’s story catch your breath
and God’s gratuity perpetually astound you.
May choices you thought you’d made at random
turn out to be the key to moving on.
May the darkness that sometimes surrounds you prove to be the moment before dawn.
May you bathe in the light
of a prodigal sun
and be nourished
by a generous earth.
May the struggles you meet
make you stronger
and even old wounds bring new wonders to birth.
May you trip over truth
and fall headlong into hope.
May redemption rain down all around you.
May God’s glory catch you napping
and God’s story catch your breath
and God’s gratuity perpetually astound you.
May the unplanned kindness of strangers
bring to mind a long-forgotten song.
May the unexpected kisses
of a star-filled sky
remind you of where you belong.
And even if you never return to find peace
amongst those who have so loved and so hurt you,
may you seek your soul’s redeemer
and connect with your creator
and make your home
with the Father who waits for you.
May you trip over truth
and fall headlong into hope.
May redemption rain down all around you.
May God’s glory catch you napping
and God’s story catch your breath
and God’s gratuity perpetually astound you.”
“Prodigal Blessing” by Gerard Kelly
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